Don't talk anything about child in front of them

 They are listening, even when you think they’re not.

“He’s so difficult.” “She is so shy.” “He never listens.” “She’s always been a terrible eater.” When we repeatedly talk about children this way in front of them, we’re not simply describing a behavior. We’re giving them information about who they are. Children are still building their self-concept, and the language of the adults around them is part of that process. Research has also documented self-fulfilling effects of adult expectations: what adults expect from a child can sometimes contribute to behaviors that confirm those expectations. Eventually, “Mom says I’m shy” can become “I’m shy.” “Dad says I never listen” can become “I don’t listen.” That’s why in Montessori we don’t talk about children as if they weren’t there. If you need to discuss a struggle, behavior, or concern with another adult, have that conversation privately. Talk to children about what they do. Be careful telling them who they are. 🤍